As dusk approaches I pitch my tent, back a way down the valley. The weather is frosty but mercifully still for the time of year. I doubt it will snow for a few more weeks. I make a fire but rather than cook food I only make tea. Wrapped in blankets I watch the stars emerge and then sip, stilling my mind and my breath until I am ready for my sacrament. All fear leaves me as I swallow; they taste like the earth. I relax and wait, now fully submissive before the unknown.
I am aware of it affecting me when I laugh at a moth. The world is brighter, sharper and funnier. It would always be humorous if we were less busy being so serious. The fire fascinates me and I see a figure begin to appear in the flames. Body parts assemble into a man, white hot like a sword being forged. He stares out at me then bursts forth from the fire. It sparks and I cover my eyes, frightened for a moment. Images and patterns swirl before me: past lovers, current friends, my worries and interests. I am caught in the churning of my own thoughts.
“Hello.” The word breaks me from my own enchantment and I open my eyes. A figure sits across from the fire. I inhale sharply. He is bald and he wears strange robes; his eyes are huge, like an alien. He is entirely green, as if he is covered in a fine dust. He smiles. I am suddenly aware that he is speaking to me without words. As he looks into my eyes our faces seem drawn into each other, as though we are merging. Galactic vistas swirl through our bodies as our two realities collide. I am acutely aware that I am about to be profoundly transformed. My chest and forehead explode with intense orgasmic emotion.
Image and text from my forthcoming book Hawk Divine.